Introverts – No Need To Fix Us!
I often do the endless scroll on the googler looking for ideas and topics to chat about. And I often get so side tracked reading and researching articles, that I forget what the heck I started out looking for! Well seems I can add that behavior to my “I am an introvert” list. So I’m going with the topic of introverts today.
You know growing up in the 1960’s and 1970’s, in a small community where everyone was very social and outgoing, or so it seemed to me, it was very difficult to not be very social and outgoing. School all week, church on Sundays…people, people, people. Overwhelming, exhausting, and anxiety still come to mind thinking back decades later.
Being different was frowned upon, a do not color outside the lines kind of thing. Just do as you’re told, conform and get through school. I used to have nightmares of not passing final exams in high school, meaning I’d never get away. Over thinking is another trait and I did a lot of that. Not knowing why.
I remember failing an art class because I mixed different styles together. Me not conforming in art anyway, being odd. We were putting together rooms of furniture, mine wasn’t all matchy poo, so I failed. Hey teacher…It’s called eclectic…look it up! Introverts are creative and spend a lot of time thinking. I wanted something different and artsy in my room assignment. Guess I was ahead of my time.
Home life was good, I could do as I pleased and spent hours either wandering in the woods, we lived in the country with farms around us. Or in my room reading and looking things up in the encyclopedias we had, or reading Nancy Drew. I still love a good mystery if I’m not reading non-fiction. Or listening to music, both of which I could get transported away in my mind…all on my own. There was nothing I liked more than spending time alone. Which again made me odd….and another introvert trait.
But having a very social Mother, that thought I needed to get out more, would insist I join things. Being social was the norm so she thought that was best for me. Now any introvert that reads this will know how uncomfortable that is. It makes me shiver just thinking back about it….because you know what happens in group setting. Often the first question is “Tell us a little about yourself” It makes an introvert cringe and the need to run is real. The answer in my head was, “Well if I have to sit here much longer and listen to endless blah, blah, blah….about you all, my head will explode!” If I’m lucky the building will catch on fire and I’ll get to go home! So I did the join groups thing because I had to, until I was old enough to say, “Nope I’ve had enough” The anxiety and feelings of being overwhelmed just get to be too much. At the time I had no idea why.
Back home I was off to my room to recharge. Years go by and all the while I figure I must have something wrong with me. None of the other kids around me seemed to have the same feeling in social activities. I dealt with it the best I could.
Then one day decades later in my reading searches through magazines, I happened upon an article about introverts. Oh my gawd…could this be me? And being more aware of this topic, it seemed to pop up a lot.
The only thing wrong with it, was it seemed to put the introvert in a negative light? So it was good to realize I wasn’t the only one that liked to keep to themselves, over thinks things, needs time to recharge after a social outing, even if it is with friends or family, and years later with the cell phone, I can text instead of talk to people! I bet the inventor of texting was an introvert. But at the same time, introverts were something that needed fixing to make them normal.
Well I was just glad to know I wasn’t the only one.
And then it happened! Articles being written about introverts in an accepting way! It’s like a bunch got together, ok thats not likely to happen, but via written word by text, magazine article, blogs. Introverts were speaking out, “We Don’t Need To Be Fixed” We are the way we are and that’s ok. I can tell you it was a moment for me for sure. I learned how to say “No, I won’t be going to that get together” and not feel bad about it. It was emotionally liberating the first time I did it. And now it comes quite easily.
I don’t push myself to appease other’s social norms, and I’m less anxious and more accepting of, and at peace with myself. All those years of wondering what was wrong with me and feelings of being inadequate, when all someone had to say was…you are fine the way you are.
Well I am here to say to any introverts out there with any of the same feeling I had…You are perfect the way you are! Everyone is different, you don’t have to be socially the same as everyone around you. I make no bones about it, I’m an introvert, take it or leave it! Or maybe that’s just cause I’m old and cranky now? I feel I can do me and not feel guilty about it…lol
Life Experience Wisdom
*Don’t feel inadequate because you are not a social person, we are all different. Celebrate it instead!
*Read articles about introverts, there is so much to learn to help us understand ourselves.
*Even though we like to keep to ourselves, or our small group of friends, it’s helpful to follow groups, on FB
perhaps, to remind us we aren’t alone in our feelings. I watch a FB group just to get a daily meme come across my newsfeed.
*Don’t wait until you are old and cranky to accept being yourself.
* You do you the best you know how!
*INTROVERTS DON’T NEED TO BE FIXED!
Thanks for visiting, cheers til next time!
Grace
My Motto
When life throws baseball size lemons at you, that smack you upside the head, stomp on those damn things and make yourself a cocktail!